since I can remember, my life has been in constant reaction to some political injustice, either by a ruler or a western-induced war (.. ok, American.. not any western)..
1991, 1 am, my mom wakes me up at 3 AM, I was a high school student in my 10th grade, I had a biology exam the next day... she was crying and repeatedly saying: they started bombing iraq.. they just don't fear god!! they think they are god!!
my mom is a non-religious person.. and I remember freezing up to this scene, and trying to silently comfort her by a slight touch on her shoulder.... she apologies, gently removes my head from her shoulder, and goes to bed crying to leave me to go back to sleep..
right now, I don't know whom was she referring to.. George Bush senior for starting the war? or Hafez Al Assad for supporting this war on our closest neighbour...
and I burst into tears, not knowing why!!!
since then, every American teen movie that I see brings a taste of disgust and anger..
yes, while your high school sucks cos the popular guy didn't take you to prom, I had to comfort my mom cos your country was invading a neighbouring country, and my ruler supported your country..
and while you woke up next day in the morning, and chose not to go to school cos you're broken hearted, or chose to go and read a poem to the guy who cheated on you in class (while a nice song plays from the soundtrack).. I had to go to school in my psuedo military uniform, and cheer and swear oath to be loyal to a ruler that supported invading iraq, while still forced his people to chant slogans condemning the americans for being "imperialists"..
then comes the second gulf war, the Gazza massacre, the Lebanon bombing in 2007, and the Libya genocide.. and I grow up and leave my mom in Syria to fly to some other places, away from that ruler and his evil sadistic mob.. I leave her without my comforting touch at 3 AM, where I cannot silently try to assure her that things are going to be alright..
cos I can't.. things are not going to be alright.. and just like Iraqis have been killed, and Palestinians have been slaughtered, now Libyans are bombed by their ruler, and Syrians are jailed by their government..
I am sorry mom.. I had to run away from my jailer, and from the life sentence of being an Arab... I can't comfort you anymore, I can't stay up at 3 AM to watch TV and cry with you over Baghdad being bombed, but I hope to be able to spare my son from having to see me wake up in the middle of the night, look up to a sky where there might be a god I don't believe in, and ask him:
WHY??
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